on crossroads and being stung.

i don’t know what it is, but everything is better now. i feel like i’ve begun to truly sort out my life. this mostly centers around the fine-tuned idea of doing what i want to do. or what i need to do. when i need to do it. like, sometimes, i will be in the middle of making a decision… and i will come to the usual crossroads. mind you, these crossroads that i come to suck. and we all have them-the parameters of what person or group of persons will be watching where we go, wear, say, be. and usually, and i think just by human nature, we choose the quieter one- the skinny leg blue jeans rather then the wide leg yellow ones, the obvious, the benine, the harmless. i mean, i tryand call myself an individual but even that’s easier then calling myself by my own name. HOWEVER, i guess as i grow up i have finally began to suck it up and take the hilly road at the crossing, the mt. trashmore, if you will. it’s funny because i like it a lot more then the easy one. i got real tired of living my life for everyone else, and being who i was supposed to be. it’s nice to breathe easy and just not worry about it anymore. people are to delicate not to love, so i’d rather just love everyone.

now, now.

i’ve had a lot of experiences with this one bumblebee lately. and shit, my past tells me that i hate bees. but this one is kind of different. i like it’s black and yellow rings. oh, and, its not one of those bees that stings you once then is powerless. it keeps stinging, especially me, so much that i feel like i am forever running away, skidding through my grass and locking my doors. but then i stop, and it stings me again. the important thing is that i stop. it’s taken a while, but now i’m getting used to its stings. i kind of like them. however, i know that soon the ubiquitous bumblebee is gonna hover somewhere new. there isn’t much pollen, or i guess nectar around my house anymore and i feel like this certain bee doesn’t even like pollinating these local flowers that much even though it is afraid to try any other kinds. its going to soon though. and soon, i’ll be stingless, but not any more healed.